the chronicles of boberina

I am so troubled these days. He keeps worrying about us and whether we are meant to be together. And this has started to make me worry too, though i never did before cos i thought we would definitely be with each other all the way. Now that he is considering the possibility of things going otherwise, i am thinking so too. And frankly that thought just scares me cos so much of my life is entwined with his. And if we did break up, i would honestly be lost. I know many would say that's stupid cos i did live 19 years of my life without him. But once you have been showered with the kind of love and care that he has showered upon me, and been taken care of the way he has taken care of me, i think its almost impossible to go back to your previous life without feeling empty inside.

Ya know how they say 2 souls become 1. I know it sounds lame but sometimes, despite all the arguments, i feel that we have such a wonderful connection that it almost seems like i have known him for a lifetime. And honestly the stuff that we fight about sometimes is usually cos we love and care for each other too much. Which is why we always fight over the small things, not the big stuff.

I am so afraid of losing him. I am so afraid that one day he will leave me saying that he has had enough of fighting with me and would rather have peace in his life. I am so afraid that we will continue fighting so much so that splitting beomes an inevitable option. I am so afraid that he will find someone better who can treat him the way he deserves to be treated. And lastly, i am very afraid that i will lose the one person i love to death.